


when you were standing in the wake of devastation (you were there, impossibly alone)

by brxkenarrxws



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Minor Original Character(s), Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, lets hope my school laptop doesn't block my own work lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23108425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brxkenarrxws/pseuds/brxkenarrxws
Summary: Winter's PTSD is something she has never opened up to anyone about. When a nightmare comes back to haunt her dreams, all of her bottled-up emotions come pouring out to the one person she knows she can trust.A nightmare from Robyn's childhood comes crashing down on her.
Relationships: Robyn Hill/Winter Schnee
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	1. falling into empty space (no one there to catch you in their arms)

**Author's Note:**

> Winter has PTSD and no one can tell me otherwise.  
> She's definitely seen some shit, mkay?

_Gunshots rang out across the street. Bullets are flying from every direction._

_It was 11:45 at night, a total of two hours have passed since triggers were first pulled and bullets began slicing the air._

_Winter ducked behind a car, her heart pounding against her chest. Sweat dripped down the back of her neck as she peered through the shattered window. A few yards away, one of her fellow officers is pulling himself behind a large truck, blood spilling from two bullet wounds in his side. Frantically glancing around, Winter stands up and hurries over to his side._

_"Damn White Fang isn't giving up. We've been at it for two hours now." the male officer hissed, holding his side. Winter kneeled down next to him, putting her hands against the wound._

_"Don't bother, Winter. I've lost too much blood." the officer said, his eyes fluttering as if he was trying to stay awake. Winter looks down at his chest, searching for a name badge._

_"Russet. Russet, you aren't going to die. Not on my watch, okay? I'll get you a medical team, just stay with me." Winter said, her voice shaking. Russet lifted his hand and pulled the helmet from his head, letting his reddish-brown husky ears free. Russet dropped his hand to his side, letting out a sigh._

_"Don't lie to yourself. I have two bullets inside of me." Russet says, his dark gray eyes straining to stay open. "I enjoyed working with you, Winter."_

_Winter's breath was shaky as the Faunus officer slowly went still, his dark eyes closing. Winter looked down and stumbled back onto her rear._

_Russet's dark blood coated the concrete and Winter's hands, sleeves, and legs._

_She let out a scream._

* * *

The white-haired huntress jolted awake and sat up instantly, gasping. Sweat soaked the collar of her t-shirt. 

Winter looked around, trying to get a grasp of where she was.

The room she was in was dark, pale light glowed from the window and poured into the bedroom. Winter was in a large, queen-sized bed that had a thin sheet blanket and several softer blankets that were strewn across the bed. Winter was never one to have a comforter on the bed. It got way too hot, even during the colder seasons.

Winter sighed as she put her hands on her face, only to realize that there were warm tears trickling down her cheeks. Winter's breathing was quick and shallow. 

Then it clicked.

_PTSD panic attack._

Winter turned towards her nightstand and grabbed her phone and turned it on, squinting slightly as the light from the screen illuminated the room. She quickly opened her contacts and called the last number she called and put the phone to her ear, waiting for the person to pick up the phone.

Seconds passed before the calling tone caught off and a tired voice answered.

_"Winter, it's the middle of the night."_

"Robyn, I-I'm sorry I woke you, b-but I really need you to come o-ov-over right now."

Winter could hear the shuffling of blankets in the background, indicating that Robyn sat up. Probably immediately from hearing Winter's stammering and shaky voice.

 _"I'll be there in ten, Icy."_ Robyn murmured. 

"A-alright," Winter said before hanging up and putting her phone back on the nightstand. She fell back onto the mattress and stared up at the ceiling.

Flashes of the nightmare went through her head and she covered her face with her arm.

* * *

It was times like these that Robyn was glad that Winter gave her the key to her house. As Robyn parked her motorcycle in the driveway next to Winter's white pickup truck, she slipped her helmet off and pulled the key out of the ignition. 

Sliding off of her bike, Robyn made her way towards the front door and unlocked it.

As soon as she entered the dark house, Robyn instantly sensed that something was wrong. The blonde-haired woman placed her black motorcycle helmet on the dining room table before rushing upstairs and towards Winter's bedroom. She softly knocks on the door.

_"It's unlocked..."_

The soft voice of Winter is so quiet that Robyn almost didn't hear it. Turning the doorknob, Robyn stepped inside the dark room. 

Instantly, Robyn caught sight of Winter sitting on the bed, her knees tucked up against her chest. Slipping her shoes off, Robyn discarded her jacket and tossed it on the dresser before hopping onto the mattress beside Winter and pulling her into a hug.

The white-haired huntress clung onto the councilwoman, burying her face into Robyn's shoulder as she let out hushed, choked sobs.

"Shh...it's okay, Snowflake. I'm here. You're okay." Robyn whispered, running her hand through the back of Winter's hair, stroking the pristine white locks.

Robyn held the shaking woman close, not caring that her shoulder was wet with tears from Winter. 

As Winter's sobs died down, Robyn pulled away slowly to look at Winter.

"What happened?" Robyn asked, looking into Winter's eyes. The huntress had a look of horror, sadness, and guilt in those pale blue orbs.

"I-I...t-there was so much blood..I-I couldn't save him." Winter stuttered, her breath suddenly quickening again as she began to hyperventilate.

The amount of guilt and sadness in Winter's voice made Robyn's heart splinter. She had never seen Winter so scared before. Robyn slid her hand to Winter's pale cheek, caressing it softly with her thumb. Winter's eyes closed tightly as if she was trying to wipe a memory from her mind. A few more tears slid down her cheek.

"Winter, I need you to lay down, okay?" Robyn whispered. Winter hesitated for only a moment before laying back down on the mattress. Robyn slid under the blankets and scooted closer to Winter. She grabbed a few of the soft blankets and pulled them up to cover the pair and provide some extra warmth.

Robyn wrapped her arms around the white-haired woman, holding her close. Winter snuggled into the hold, nuzzling Robyn's neck softly.

Winter's shaky breaths were the only thing the could be heard in the room, but Robyn wasn't complaining. Robyn traced gentle patterns on Winter's lower back with her finger. Soon enough, the white-haired huntress was asleep, her breathing even and slow.

Robyn smiled softly before closing her eyes and drifting off into unconsciousness.


	2. i do know what its like to be a witness (it kills)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fragmented piece of Robyn's childhood comes back to haunt her in the middle of the night, and it may just affect her in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I *may* have based this on a certain NF song that reaalllyyy hits me in the feels.
> 
> Warnings:  
> Prescription medication abuse  
> Parent loss at a young age  
> Overdose
> 
> How Could You Leave Us? - NF

_A twelve year old Robyn humms softly as she sits on the couch, her arms crossed on the back of the furniture, her lavender gaze staring out the window._

_Robyn's mother, Sparrow Hill, was late returning home again._

_Usually Sparrow would be home only ten minutes after Robyn got home from school._

_But that had been a full two hours ago._

_Robyn was worried about her mom. Sparrow had an addiction to prescription drugs, and would often come home late getting another refill of an anti-depressant or something. Robyn didn't hate her mom for it. Sparrow had her reasons, but only wished she would think about her only daughter first instead of a bottle of pills._

_"Still waiting?"_

_Robyn looked over her shoulder. One of her best friends, Max, stood behind Robyn, his amber eyes filled with concern. Robyn nodded sadly._

_"Yeah. Two hours." Robyn replied, looking back out the window. Max sighed and hopped up on the couch beside Robyn._

_"Do you think she might've gotten in a-"_

_"No, Max, please don't say it." Robyn cut her friend off. She really didn't want to imagine the worst._

_"Sorry, sorry." Max said, running a hand through his blue hair nervously. There were a list of possibilities that could explain her mother's two hour delay, but Robyn didn't want to think about them._

_A squad car slowly rolled up and stopped next to the sidewalk in front of Robyn's house, and her heart began to race. Two officers stepped out, one was male and the other female. Both were Faunus. The female officer had a long, bushy pale-yellow tail that hung low, as if in sadness. The male had two large wolf ears that were a darker pale-yellow, almost a sandy color. They were pressed against his head in defeat._

_The two officers made their way to the front door, and thoughts began racing through Robyn's head faster than a Sabyr running across the tundra. The female officer knocked on the door, and Robyn looked at Max, her eyes wide. Max's expression mirrored Robyn's._

_The blonde-haired girl jumped off the couch and unlocked the door and opened it. She looked up at the two officers, her body trembling a bit._

_"Are you Robyn Hill?" the male Faunus asked. Robyn nodded._

_"May we come in?"_

_Another nod followed by the door opening wider to let the two cops walk inside._

_Robyn closed the door and looked at the officers._

_"My name is Chance Faust. This is my partner, Seven Keshet." the male Faunus said, gesturing to his female Faunus partner, who was apparently named Seven._

_"I'm afraid we've come with...some bad news." Seven said, her bushy tail curling between her legs. Robyn's heart rate only sped up, but she didn't say a word._

_"Your mother...uh, Sparrow, I think her name was....she..." Seven sighed and kneeled down on a knee in front of Robyn._

_"She was driving while high on prescription drugs._ _During the drive, she took more anti-depressants and..." Seven trailed off, her hazel eyes dull with sympathy._

_"She overdosed and died...didn't she?" Robyn whispered._

_Seven nodded._

_It was like glass was shattered from a bullet, creating a hole that only created more and more cracks in the glass before the broken shards and brittle fragments came down, smashing and breaking into smaller and smaller pieces. That answer was the bullet, Robyn's composure was the glass. The bystanders were her, freezing in place._

_Salty tears flowed unchecked from violet eyes. Robyn's legs buckled, her knees thumping against the carpet as she collapsed, burying her face in her hands._

_Robyn screamed._

* * *

"Robyn!"

The blonde-haired woman's eyes snapped open and she jolted instantly into a sitting position, gasping for breath. Her heart was hammering against her chest, blood roaring in her ears.

It had been a long, long time since Robyn had a nightmare about her deceased mother. Especially one involving the day her mother died from an overdose. At that time, May hadn't even begun to question who she _truly_ was. They were both twelve year old kids living in Mantle. Robyn had a single mom who had issues, May was living with her dad in Mantle to get away from Atlas and her dickhead of a cousin. May knew about Sparrow's problems, but promised not to tell anyone. Despite Sparrow being a drug-addicted mother, she had still cared for Robyn, and Robyn herself knew that. It was only the times that Sparrow took longer than usual getting home that Robyn felt like she didn't even know her own mother.

A hand on her shoulder made Robyn flinch and she looked beside her.

Winter was wide awake and sitting up right, her blue eyes worried. Her white hair was down, hanging over her shoulders.

"Robyn, are you alright?" Winter asked, her voice soft. 

Robyn looked away and leaned over, putting her forehead on the palm of her hand. Tears continued to flow down Robyn's tan cheeks, falling onto the blankets.

She took a deep breath before looking over at Winter.

"I never told you about my mom, did I?" Robyn said, her tone low, and borderline emotionless.

Winter shook her head.

"No, I don't think you did." Winter replied, frowning. "Why?"

Robyn sighed and sat up slowly, scooting back to lean against the headboard and pull her knees up against her chest.

"Her name was Sparrow." Robyn mumbled, gazing at a framed picture that was propped up on the dresser across the room, the photo showing a woman who looked similar to Robyn, with darker blonde hair, and lighter violet eyes. She was smiling in the picture, wearing a pale orange shirt and a black leather jacket.

"She was a huntress, but worked at a book store when she wasn't called onto missions. She eventually had me with my dad. I don't remember him because he died in a car accident when I was three months old. After that my mom basically shut down. She was diagnosed with major depression and started taking anti-depressants. Then she got mood swings, then it was another prescription bottle, then it was insomnia followed by another prescription bottle." 

It was strange that Robyn remembered so vividly how Sparrow fell into that abyss. The abyss that sucked the true person out of her, and left a hollow shell that was as fragile as a ceramic coffee cup.

She looked over at Winter, and was surprised to see that she was still listening. Her ice-blue eyes glowed faintly in the darkness, almost looking a pale blue-silver in the silvery moonlight that poured in from the window.

"She eventually gained an addiction. Started getting high off the meds and started smoking. Lost her huntress liscense not a month later. What'd she do? Got high again. CPS basically put her on a watch list. When I turned ten, she started coming home later than usual. Like half an hour up to an hour after I got home from school. I couldn't understand it because I was a ten year old girl. I didn't know what to do! All I knew was that mom had problems, and she was doing her best." Robyn held back the tears that were welling in her eyes. She'd never openly talked about her childhood, especially with Winter. 

"When I was twelve...I had been staring out the living room window when a cop car pulled up to my house and two cops knocked on my door. I wasn't ready for what they told me about her..." 

At some point during the story, Winter had moved to sit next to Robyn and was now looking at her patiently as she slid her hand to Robyn's intertwining her fingers with the blonde's. Winter lifted Robyn's hand with her own and kissed the back of it softly, yet hesitated for a moment before pulling back, still holding the other woman's hand.

"She...overdosed while driving. Crashed into a truck." Robyn whispered, tears brimming in her violet eyes. Winter didn't say anything, but the sad expression on her face said a lot.

"Ever since then, I had nightmares. Some about me being in the passenger seat, watching her, and then screaming as a truck slammed into the driver's side door. Others were about the day the cops came. After awhile they stopped....but..." Robyn trailed off, biting her bottom lip gently as a tear slid down her cheek.

"This is the first one you've had in awhile, isn't it?" Winter said, her thumb running over the scarred and bruised skin of Robyn's knuckles. The blonde-haired woman nodded.

"oh, Robyn...I'm so sorry." Winter murmured, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. The blonde woman buried her face in Winter's shoulder, letting out hushed sobs. Winter had never witnessed Robyn break down like this before. She was always a pretty happy person. Sure, she'd lose it once in a while, probably go down to the basement and take her anger out on the leather punching bag that hung from the ceiling, but Robyn never broke down into tears _like this_. It was so...unusual.

Tracing a pattern on Robyn's upper back, Winter planted soft kisses along the side of Robyn's neck, not in a sexual intimate way, but in a way of comforting, to let Robyn know that Winter was still here.

"Are you okay now?" Winter asked gently, her voice a soft whisper. Robyn slowly sat up and nodded, taking in a few deep breaths. Winter raises her hand and wipes away a tear that had been sliding down Robyn's cheek with her thumb.

"Alright. Let's go back to sleep, okay?" Winter murmurs, smiling softly at her girlfriend.

The two lay back down beneath the blankets, holding each other close. The rest of the night was calm and quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's something to take note of: Winter doesn't mention about how she knows how it feels to emotionally lose a mother because Willow is an alcoholic. She says nothing about it because this isn't about her. It's about Robyn. Robyn is the one who is revealing deep and personal information about her childhood, not her.
> 
> Number one rule when you listen to someone vent: Don't say "I know how that feels" because you're putting the attention on yourself. 
> 
> Winter takes that rule seriously.


End file.
